Self Hugging

There is more than one way to hug oneself.  There is the snugly kind of hug, like being swaddled in a fluffy, toasty towel after a relaxing bath.  The other kind of hug is uncomfortable and restricting like a self tightening strait jacket.

I used to self-hug in the less than lovely way.  I would squeeze myself to do more, achieve more and get more until I squeezed the joy out of everything and I was exhausted.  No matter what I did, it was never good enough.  No matter what I had, I was never satisfied.  I had everything I had dreamed would create the perfect, picket fence lifestyle, but I was empty.  

Then my world came crashing down and I was left with nothing but my two young daughters.  It put everything into perspective and made me realise that, actually, I was very lucky indeed, even though I had no material possessions.  In fact, having nothing brought with it a welcome sense of liberation.  I was no longer burdened by stuff that I thought would make me happy.  That was the time when I discovered feng shui and the delights of de-cluttering.  I was forced to be creative and do things with my girls that didn’t cost a penny.  I couldn’t buy them toys, so we played more together instead.  We would paint and draw together, sing, skip and walk together and it brought us all closer – the power of 3.  In fact every morning we’d hug and sing: 

LET LOVE AND FUN AND LAUGHTER BE

TO UNIFY THE POWER OF 3.

When I had nothing it made me appreciate what I actually did have and that I was more abundant than I ever knew: my daughters, good health, friends, a passion for living and ability to bounce back and stand up for my truths, silly sense of humour and wacky ways of looking at the world.  Nature gifts us with so many giggly and gorgeous moments that cost absolutely nothing and bring priceless joy, happy sighs and achy cheeks.  In fact, after I have written this, we are going on a lakeside family bimble, to watch coots and swans and smile at the peach melba sky as the sun goes to sleep.

It was also when I had nothing that I slowly learned to self-hug in a healthy way.  I praised myself for every little effort and was grateful for the opportunity to make the most of each new day.  I slowly acquired a sense of self worth and started to believe I could make a positive difference to others.  It took me many, many years to reach the state of love and compassion that I enjoy today, but I believe that if I can do it, then anyone can.  You don’t even have to wait for worlds to crumble or years to pass.  You can start loving yourself right here, right now.  In fact, go on, give yourself a gentle squeeze and smile and notice how good it feels.  Acknowledge yourself for all that you are and if there is anything you don’t like about yourself, simply accept it and be willing to change.

 When you stop beating yourself up for what you haven’t done or haven’t got and instead give yourself a gentle hug simply for being you and what you have actually achieved so far, life seems heaps more lovely.  Everything you have ever done has mattered, regardless of how little or great you perceive it to be.  You are alive and every morning you wake up alive, you are blessed with yet another opportunity to be grateful for the life you are creating for yourself.

Heaps of hugs xXx